My back is hurt in pain… so hurts
It’s feels like ever since the room became darker than before, my body is all in pain.
This is mental sickness… mind sickness… you were right again roommies
Oh wait… you leave me alone… I forgot
Yeah… you though I hate you so much and want you to leave forever
You though you were the stupidest person on earth thinking your part in my life not as much as mine in yours
You though I can survive erasing your image and every single memory in it from my life
Oh wait… it’s not that… you though I want to forget about you

I have never told you about this, but since you once mention this, let me tell you…
On that cold fight we had before… the one that cause our separation for so long…
Not even once I forgot about you
I hate it so much knowing you survive so well and I’m drowned
I tried so hard finding new activities to forget and move on like you did
When a chance came to met you again, do you know how many times I have to ask myself what will I do when I see you? Should I talk as usual and pretend?
Or should I refuse to see you?
But I miss you and really want to see how you were doing so far
So I came, and I see you… regaining your life and have new friendship again
I guess I was lose and had to except the fact
So when we finally talk and start all over again, I tried so hard not to get involved with you too much
Trying so hard to forgot where I am before and just face the reality that I’m just someone close to you physically
But as times goes by, slowly you walk in my life and fill my soul again
As that process moves on, I was so afraid I will make mistake and lose you again
I tried so hard to keep this forever in anyway or anyhow
But then you keep asking me to say the truth to you
I feel afraid at first cause knowing if I did you won’t last
But you were so hard trying to convince me, that you will holding out so tight to my wings
But I guess now it’s all too late
After you face the real me… the real dark person of who I am, you took all my words for granted
My mistake…
For being an emotional person and never reconsider result of my action to you
For making you feel bad about yourself and all

Just so you know…
This is the first time after so many years I trust someone again
Someone that means so much to me even if the world hates me
Someone that I truly love as a dear good friend and part of my soul

Thanks for giving me so many happiness all this time
For showing me the truth and never tired giving me advice and scold me even it never succeed and makes you hurts
For loving me the way you did
For being there for me
For considering me as your roommate

I have never want to lose you, but I guess I have to learn to accept the result of my own madness
Even if it was a temporary emotion, but any action has a result whether I like it or not
And even if I beg you, I don’t think you still have the heart [or energy] to stand next to a time bomb like me

I love you~
I hope you will always live happy and healthy anywhere you are