I wanna smoke..
It’s been over than 3 months since I stop smoking, but now I’m so eager to have a couple of cigars. [and if I’m lucky, a couple glass of soju perhaps]
I’m so emotionally confused and mad and drowned. Whatever it called.
Yesterday I had a heavy-deep-tiring conversation. Once its stop, I feel so mad to my opposite conversation partner. So furious even on my way back home, I wrote a little note for that person in my cell phone so I can send to that person today. In that message I said I was so mad at that person, I can’t stand being around. But guess what, I can’t send it. All night, the tough of loosing my only roomies drained out all my energy and tears. [plus I can’t eat anything now. My mouth and stomach refuse to any food I ate]
So today, I decided to put my messenger off. Not really off actually, but being invisible. I still need to talk to several people that I work with according to my job.
After last night, I realize that I am always all alone. I should have remember this because I’ve been aware of it for such a long time.
To make myself even sure, I was being left behind on lunch time by my coworker fellow. It’s my mistake, I mean part of it. But still, I realize, I am really all alone.
Well, I guess I have to return to the old me with lotsa mask on every minutes of my life.
*putting one mask on now*